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| 发布时间：2006-9-1 12:19:41 | 信息来源：本站原创 | 浏览： | |
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Patient: Die! Die!
Dentist: I shall get cross in a minute.
Patient: Cross! Cross!
Dentist: Now look, I've had just about enough of this. You come in here screaming in pain, saying that you've been in agony all night because you bit on a bone or something, and you ask me to do something to stop the pain but the minute I do try to do something you won't let me. Now, just what exactly am I expected to do? You're a grown man and I'm a very busy lady. I have a lot of patients waiting in the other room and you're taking up my time, which is very expensive. Now, pull yourself together and let's get on with it.
Patient: I can't. Couldn't you just give me some painkillers?
Dentist: Well, I could, but that isn't going to solve the problem. On the other hand, perhaps that's the best thing if you're so nervous about me doing the extraction today. Yes, perhaps that's best. You take some painkillers and let's make an appointment for next week when you're feeling less nervous. Now, which day would you like, Mr. ...? Sorry I didn't catch your name.
Patient: Dracula.
Man: Rose (hic). Rose (hic). Rosemary. Can (hic) can you (hic) help me?
Rosemary: What's the mater? Oh, you've got the hiccups.
Man: I've had them for (hic) three hours (hic, hic).
Rosemary: Oh, there must be something we can do. Now, what are the different remedies for hiccups?
Man: I've tried everything (hic) I can think of.
Rosemary: Have you tried holding your breath?
Man: I've tried (hic) holding it (hic) but I hiccuped.
Rosemary: Well, you obviously haven't held it long enough.
Man: How can (hic) I hold it long enough when I (hic) hiccup in the middle?
Rosemary: Now what's the other thing I've heard? Now come along, something to do with a glass of water. That's right, you have to drink from the other side of a glass. Have you tried that?
Man: Well, how (hic) do you mean (hic) drink (hic) from the other side of a glass?
Rosemary: Well, you know how you drink normally ...
Man: Yes (hic).
Rosemary: Then you drink from the opposite side.
Man: You mean (hic) you turn the glass round (hic)?
Rosemary: You bend over with your head towards the floor, then you put your lips to the far side of the glass and you try to drink it like that.
Man: Ah, (hic) you mean like this?
Rosemary: Oh no, you're getting it all over the carpet. Now what's the other thing? Key down the back of your neck.
Man: No (hic), that's for when your ... your nose's bleeding.
Rosemary: Oh, is it? What about a coin on your forehead?
Man: I've never (hic, hic) heard of that (hic).
Rosemary: Now what's that other thing for hiccups? A shock, a shock. I'll have to frighten you ... Erm ... let me burst a paper bag.
Man: (Hic) But (hic) I know you (hic) are going to frighten me so I (hic) won't be frightened, will I? (Hic)
Rosemary: Now what else is there? Now, look, I know. I'll give you five pounds if you hiccup again, you give me five pounds if you can't.
Man: Yes, all right.
Rosemary: Did you understand what I said?
Man: Of course I did. You give me five pounds if I hiccup again. |
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